~millie-gillana

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About Photography / Student Member millie-gillana19/Female/United States

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a fresh start - lessons i've learned

by ~millie-gillana, Dec 25, 2012, 9:43:53 AM
Journals / Personal

^{The last journal I posted was over a year ago. Some of my goals last year were to stay updated on DA, to balance my life, to simply get everything that needed to be accomplished, DONE. Did any of that happen? Well...sort of. I'll give myself some credit, but I definitely walked down a taxing road. And I've learned a great deal. I've just completed the first semester of my sophomore year, and this too has been taxing.

Here are some lessons I've learned in no particular order:
1) It's okay to listen to your gut feeling about someone when you first meet them, even if your head tells you that you're being judgmental. I hate to judge people based on what I feel when I first meet them. I like to give everyone an opportunity to prove how wonderful they are. I'd met someone last year who I thought had good intentions. I was completely wrong. I have let a venom enter my life that may take at least 3 years to remove. Ah, the perils of attending the same college. And the perils of being naive

2) Trust with caution.

3) Never share cameras. This same person, the venom who entered my life, and I had a dispute over what photos we'd taken. After the shoot, I'd put into folders which photos were mine. Also, photographers simply just KNOW what photos they've taken, because that's our compositional eye doing the work. You just know. The guy I shared the camera with entered one of my photos into a contest and won third place, and when I told him it was my photo, he insulted me. After a while, he "remembered" I'd taken the photo and apologized. I forgave him, because he genuinely seems to have memory issues. He's always forgetting things. However, lesson still learned.

4) It's okay to cry rivers, lakes, and oceans. It's okay to let yourself feel. It's okay to be hurt. One of my classes brought up so many feelings of hurt I didn't know I still carried with me. I thought I had moved on. I felt sick, or cried nearly every time during that class. Obviously there are some things in my life I need to face and fight. And right now, there's someone I'm losing in a way that hurts immensely. I'll need to face that too.

5) It's okay to say "NO". You can't help everyone, and you can't give all of your time away to everyone. You need some of that for yourself, so save it.

6) Surround yourself with people who are beautiful on the inside. These people directly influence who you are, and who you want to be. These people inspire you. These are people you will make life long friendships with.

7) Ask for help when you need it. You can't do EVERYTHING alone.

8) Don't let anyone tell you who you are. I recently had a text fight with that same venom I've already mentioned twice (you are probably curious to know how he became so harmful to my life). I asked him to stop texting me. And in return, I was told how I was superficial, and a horrible person, etc. I only replied calmly, and told him to believe what he wanted, because I know I who I am.

9) Keep smiling.

10) Love. Let those you love know they're important to you. That's something I want to improve greatly.

Finally...HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!}

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Mood: Tired
Listening to: Moonlight Sonata
Reading: The Graveyard Book
Watching: The Vampire Diaries
Drinking: Sprite

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~millie-gillana

veni vidi vici
Artist | Student | Photography

United States

^{I'm a kind soul, with insane dreams and ambitions.
I like to RAWR.

I love love love to sing. I'm currently majoring in Musical Theatre with a minor in Graphic Design. I also play the violin. I adore it. it's such a beautiful instrument.

I am learning to play banjo and piano funnn!

I've a llama-giver addict. I don't know why it gives me so much joy! it's. just. so. much. fun!!!!}